Monday, November 16, 2009
I'm telling you that right now, I am losing hope in all my friends. I really honestly believe that none of them really bother about me. Okay its not that they don't care about me, its just that they always find someone/something else that is going to be more important and just push me aside.
I don't think I'll ever have a bestfriend in my life. I don't think I've met someone that I can even call a bestfriend. Sometimes I ask myself if the problem lies with me, rather than to throw all the responsibility to others. Is it because I've grown to be reclusive nowadays, or is it because I just am socially awkward even with people I should not be with, or is it because I started adopting the heck care attitude to alot of things in life? I don't know. I feel like I have a huge problem with myself. But sometimes, the people around me also don't seem to be giving much of a support that I might need.
We've all grown up and out of our exciting, cheap-thrilling 17 year old lives. I really enjoyed my two years in college. They were pretty much the best years of my life. I had friends who were there for me so often, and the people around me were genuinely concerned and loved me for who I was. I stayed up last night, reading all the letters I received throughout college. I still laugh at alot of the things we talked about, and we sounded so carefree eventhough we might have our bad days in between. I wonder where all that youth has gone to. It feels as though turning 21 has turned us all into somebody else.
I'm still closest to the friends I've made in college, but its just so different now that we all have other things to worry about. I knew this was going to happen, drifting apart and having difficulty keeping up with friendships. I just didn't expect it to be so hard. I didn't expect myself to feel lazy going out to meet my friends, or that our conversations started to lack depth or that we stopped updating each other about our lives. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I don't know how to console someone going through a tough time. I don't know how to respond when someone asks me a tough question. I don't understand my closest friends when all along I thought I understood. Its like everyone went through the moulting stage in life but I wasn't there to go through it with them.
I just don't know how to deal with all of this.
I don't think I'll ever have a bestfriend in my life. I don't think I've met someone that I can even call a bestfriend. Sometimes I ask myself if the problem lies with me, rather than to throw all the responsibility to others. Is it because I've grown to be reclusive nowadays, or is it because I just am socially awkward even with people I should not be with, or is it because I started adopting the heck care attitude to alot of things in life? I don't know. I feel like I have a huge problem with myself. But sometimes, the people around me also don't seem to be giving much of a support that I might need.
We've all grown up and out of our exciting, cheap-thrilling 17 year old lives. I really enjoyed my two years in college. They were pretty much the best years of my life. I had friends who were there for me so often, and the people around me were genuinely concerned and loved me for who I was. I stayed up last night, reading all the letters I received throughout college. I still laugh at alot of the things we talked about, and we sounded so carefree eventhough we might have our bad days in between. I wonder where all that youth has gone to. It feels as though turning 21 has turned us all into somebody else.
I'm still closest to the friends I've made in college, but its just so different now that we all have other things to worry about. I knew this was going to happen, drifting apart and having difficulty keeping up with friendships. I just didn't expect it to be so hard. I didn't expect myself to feel lazy going out to meet my friends, or that our conversations started to lack depth or that we stopped updating each other about our lives. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I don't know how to console someone going through a tough time. I don't know how to respond when someone asks me a tough question. I don't understand my closest friends when all along I thought I understood. Its like everyone went through the moulting stage in life but I wasn't there to go through it with them.
I just don't know how to deal with all of this.
Labels: thoughts/rants
Feel.Love.Thinking.Of
DAWN
is 21 OMGZ
gemini
enjoys icecream, baking & sweet treats
graduates in a year and a half
white.black.grey.navy. boringboringboring much?
loves God, and friends
loves music and tigerlily; the 60gb ipod video
fashion, vintage, polaroid junkie
1706 is the day! :D
THESONGS!
M83/graveyard girl
Tilly and the Wall/pot kettle black
Tilly and the Wall/rainbows in the dark
The Jealous Girlfriends/roboxulla
Parachute Band/living rain
Kings of Convenience/misread
Yelle/je veux te voir (club-club version)
New Young Pony Club/the bomb
Hillsong/to the ends of the earth
THEFRIENDS!
friendster
MTV 1T37 first intake 1T37 second intake cj bowling
brandon canni/shiya charlotte daniel deana edwin ele hafi hannah huisi huiting jonas kami louie lynn melly michelle mike momo nikki phong phy sharon sher shijie shou terence tkl vania weng xinyi yining yimin zephy
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shutterfly albums
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